I wish I could enjoy people without figuring out why I like being with them.
It's a completely complex and confusing mechanism that takes place when I am by myself.
I've just moved into a new place on a student residence, and I'm living with business students. Very nice people, eccentric, out-going, and very kind to someone who isn't in their program and hasn't known them for the longest time.
And yet... I'm here, finding mistakes immediately to dislike them when they are not being nice, and when I turn away, I feel that I am enjoying their niceness because it is them being nice to me! Yeah. I'm accentuating their niceties, feeding off their positive energies, and basically wishing I were exploiting them in the end - like that is all that they are good for me.
This is why I have troubles finding friends. I admit to myself that I am living off of others advantageous traits, etc.
Cooking it up. In the end, I think I am overthinking it, and wishing I were that negative. I just can't admit that I need friends like them.
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