Tuesday, January 29, 2008

JUST FUCKING DO IT

I saw this post on the SA forums, and felt it was pretty good advice for myself and a bunch of people I know, so here it is before the post gets lost in the mire that is Something Awful.



So here's my advice to you kids loving around at home


Get up, go start a band and book gigs. Become the most overblown confident liar when it comes to pimping your band. Stop being the emo-self-doubter misunderstood artist and just loving do it. Become the rock star. It's you baby, you can do it.

I wish I could go back in time and kick my own rear end at 18 and make me do something instead of waiting another 15 years, fearful of clubs telling me no, or nobody liking my incredible talent, or whatever the hell it was that held me back.

I wish I was as cocky and full of poo poo back then as I am today, instead of self-doubting and chickenshit. I wish I knew the things I know now - that it's not about talent or practice or even ability when it comes to getting onstage and playing your instrument. And nobody - NOBODY checks your presskit facts. So lie. Tell them you opened for some B-level currently touring band that sounds like your band. Tell them you just finished a tri-state tour of small clubs. Nobody - NOBODY cares enough to check your facts. All they want to know is "who do they sound like and do they have any experience and will they draw a crowd". Lie. Lie your rear end off but be sure to bring out a crowd when you DO get your show. Or else they won't call you back.

It's all about confidence. I've seen lovely mediocre forgettable StevieRay Wannabees pull in a huge crowd, playing His licks, note for note but without any feeling, all because they had balls the size of kentucky. They had that kind of Elvis "I'm letting you in on my secret - this is all just for fun, there ain't no talent anywhere onstage" thing that goes a million miles beyond the snoozefest Eric Johnson "skill over all else" approach.

So get up there. Start your own band or go join one. Be a dick. Laugh at yourself. Play the wrong notes and scream out "I PLAY JAZZ BITCHES". The only person seriously judging you is yourself. If you get up there and have fun, everybody else is going to remember that, over your lovely redundant solos and flubbed chords.

But don't wait, because before you know it, something will get in your way and you'll have to stop, whether you want to or not. And then you'll be saying "I sure wish I'd listened to that brilliant motherfucker mag7 because not only is he talented and awesome, he's also my daddy's bitch and I have to show respeck."

edit:
In my bitching and moaning, the least I can do is give you a link to help you market your band better.

This guy is The poo poo
http://www.bob-baker.com/buzz/music-video.html

Thursday, January 24, 2008

EFUH#ETHHEGU

Fuck Green Grass and High Tides. Seriously. FUCK IT.

THIRD

It's official! Portishead's third album has a release date and a title! Called "Third", it comes out on April 14th. Hopefully this means a tour is coming up soon too. They played their first show in a long time a month or so at All Tomorrow's Parties and debuted a few new songs. Hooray for youtube!

The Mystic
Wicca
Peaches

Monday, January 21, 2008

Robin Sparkles!

Since our blog is so gloom and doom, apparently, I thought I would post this to cheer everyone up!

Sunday, January 20, 2008

Awesome Portal swag

Whilst perusing the interwebs, I found a link to this ebay auction for a Portal Xbox 360 faceplate. It's a pretty cool looking piece of Portal fangoodness, but man! The bids are already up to £200, which is HELLA money for a piece of painted plastic. As much as I love Portal, that's just crazy. I'll stick with my Portal t-shirt, and hope that someday my Aperture science mugs will appear at my doorstep.

Popping a Cherry...Pie in my mouth!

If Mitchell's gonna use this blog to review music, I'm gonna use it to review TV shows, movies, and what-have-you! This is gonna be so fun! I feel officially initiated! You can take that any way you want. Now that I have two blogs, I feel like I can have my pie and eat it too. It's gonna be LEGEN-wait for it-DARY!

My internet was down and I had nothing to do

After having read so many blogs for so long, it seems like it's about time to start my --- hold up, wait a minute. Okay, I lied. Just minutes after Mitch had shown me this I figured 'why not?' and ventured the guess "ZOMG LET ME PLAY TOO".

I've never blogged, I'm bad at diaries and I usually suck at writing in the English language. (Notice how we both apologize for future mistakes, alas we both are not going to make any due to this and gain the status of WHINY NOOBS. Hope you did.)

Since we're doing this for you and no longer for ourselves, I've decided to just tag along and do some community work for y'all: badly reviewing things I have listened to lately!



Best of Bootie 2007

Genre:
Bastard Pop/Mash-up

Release: 2008? I dunno about this.

Link

Tracklist & Comment:


1. Earworm - Bootie Intro

Pretty much the best piece of work on the whole album. Next to the bonus tracks and about 3 other tracks this shows off brilliant mixing, cutting and editing. I can't say that I know most of the songs that were featured but it sounded damn straight amazing.


2. Party Ben - Galvanize The Empire (Chemical Brothers vs. John Williams)

Okay. Before I say anything: using the Empire theme of Star Wars has been often ruined.
Now going on with the review: I wonder how awesome these people must feel when using the triumphantly sounding orchestra of John Williams and slap some meaningless Chemical Brothers into it. It isn't called Bastard Pop for nothing! Anyway, it could have been better if it wasn't sounding so damn monotonous over the whole 3:32 minutes. Good work, but nothing exciting here.


3. A plus D - Pour Some Hot Sugar (Mims vs. Def Leppard)

Again, a short notice before I continue: I don't know Mims, and I will probably say that more often during this review.. thingie. I'm solely judging these things on how they sound, so if a song or an artist had sounded like crap before, they might get a second chance!
Mims' performance is discussable, Def Leppard's classic is perfectly sounding into his repeated "This is why I'm hot!", even if it sounds damn retarded. Again, discussable performance, but skill and talent probably, too.


4. Party Ben - Tender Umbrella (Rihanna vs. General Public)

I heard this on the radio and I feel damn proud to say I at least heard the name Rihanna before. General Public not. I'm not a friend of the Umbrella song, nor of this mash-up. I could suppose that this is something you listen to in a club or something, but I also think it's the kind of song everyone exploits to dash to the bar or to the toilet. She sings, some of her beats, and probably something of General Public to make it sound half as bad as it is.


5. Go Home Productions - Passenger Fever (Peggy Lee vs. Iggy Pop)

Never heard of Peggy Lee (I feel horrible for being a so-called audiophile and not knowing all these people that seem to become fashionable now), but I can assure you: She has a very beautiful voice. And, Iggy Pop. I knew the song, I didn't know what to expect, and what I got was a very beautiful song that possibly could make it into the charts if it wasn't Bastard Pop.

She sings, and it's all you want to hear.


6. DJ Moule - Sympathy For Teen Spirit (Rolling Stones vs. Queen vs. Nirvana)

One would think with bands like these you couldn't go wrong. I thought so, too. And, many might get angry at what I'm going to say, so I suppose you should just stop reading now and scroll down to the next song.
I dislike Nirvana. Not for their music, but for Cobain. His voice ruined what I imagine to be quite an interesting mix for oldies and people who enjoy good rock music.
At least the constant repeating of a 'Another One Bites The Dust' beat and the few lines "Pleased to meet you, (...), Hope you guessed my name" makes it enjoyable.


7. Copycat - Fade To Pretty Vacant (Visage vs. Sex Pistols vs. The Charlatans vs. Fun Lovin' Criminals vs. Nouvelle Vague)

I feel bad again. I don't know The Charlatans, and I couldn't make out what part in the song they had.
Moving on to the good parts: Sex Pistols riffs can be heard, and this is definitely a pleasing thing to hear. Visage's lyrics and the contribution of 'I'm sure this was the FLC and NV part' made it a pleasant song after all.


8. Matt Hite - Me & Yoo & Yazoo (Cassie vs. Yazoo)

Eugh! This is some regular pop voice. And some regular, not original beat. I can't even listen to it anymore.


9. Earworm - Funky Goes To Hollywood (Wild Cherry vs. Frankie Goes To Hollywood)

And this is why I usually skip to this song. Imagine this: Constant Frankie beat, joined in by the funk that is Wild Cherry's ... funk! The lyrics move on to the part '..and somebody shouted' RELAX! Don't do it! ~
I don't know. This made me smile and giggle. And I don't giggle. I'm a manly man, not a girly man. I SWEAR.



10. A plus D - Standing In The Way Of Connection (The Gossip vs. Elastica)

The music just doesn't fit. Gossip's frontwoman's voice is too good for this.


11. The Illuminoids with Donita Sparks - Pretend We're Alala (L7 vs. CSS)

Repetitive, but funny nonetheless. Allah Allah Allah. I wished they'd sing that.


12. DJ Paul V. - Phantom On The Bottom (The Lady Tigra vs. Justice)

Incredible beat and bass. I didn't know Lady Tigra 'til I heard this, and I just started to get into her music. It's weird, it's fresh and new. I also like her voice, important, y'know?


13. Earworm - Say It Right Away (Nelly Furtado vs. The Egg vs. Madonna)

I don't know the egg, but I blame it for ruining this song and two beautiful voices these two women have.


14. team9 - Britney - Dead Or Alive? (Britney Spears vs. Dead Or Alive vs. Daft Punk)

This is another interesting and well-edited mix. Not fond of the music, but that is probably cause Britney sings.


15. King Of Pants - Detox (Amy Winehouse vs. Britney Spears)

Didn't I just talk bad about her? Oh man, I'm so glad Amy Winehouse sings, and damn, thanks to this album I discovered another vibrant and strong female voice. The music? Bleh, I could live without it.


16. DJ Paul V. - Tequila Lip Gloss (Lil Mama vs. The Champs)

Strange. Hectic. Tequila!


17. Lobsterdust - Walkin' Out Yo Girlfriend (Unk vs. Avril Lavigne vs. Toni Basil)

I'm glad these other people are allowed to sing and steal Avril's on air time. Even if it sounds like generic MTV hip-hop. It has something, I'm sure of it, but I'm glad not being forced to listen to it. The editing? Discussable, but clean.


18. A plus D - Don't Stop Believin' In Planet Rock (Journey vs. Afrika Bambaataa)

"Wait, wasn't that completely destroyed in Family Guy?"
And yes, you're damn right. This futuristic bass crossfire at the beginning was awesome and I hoped for a more rapid, rambunctious way of dealing with this song. Instead, I got Journey's song with a beat and some stuff. AWKWARD.


19. DJ Topcat - More Than On Point (House of Pain vs. Boston)

This makes me giggle, alas cause of the use of hip-hop and rock that SURELY don't work well together.


20. Divide & Kreate - Illiterate City (Jackson 5 vs. Guns N' Roses)

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.



21. DJ Magnet - Love Comes Running Up That Hill Gently (Placebo vs. Pet Shop Boys vs. Kate Bush)

And another song that is saved by a good voice, ruined by weird mixing and in the end: skipped.




BONUS TRACKS:


A plus D - Celeshake (Ying Yang Twins feat. Pitbull vs. Kool & the Gang)

Back in the days, when I still watched TV regularly, and this was a long long time ago, I even seen Ying Yang Twins. I didn't expect.. much. But what A plus D mixed together is divine. I am not able to find another word more fitting for this. Celebration can be heard, the hilarious rapping of the Ying Yang Twins as well (Not saying that it is bad, but it somehow makes this song funny).


dj BC - 2 Live Supertramp Disco (2 Live Crew vs. Supertramp vs. Marvin Gaye)

So yeah. I've seen Supertramp live, I've known 2 Live Crew and Marvin Gaye for ages. The use of Goodbye Stranger as melodic background was sheer genius. And they want a PAAARTAYYY!


ComaR - Mr. Jones In A Forest (Mike Jones vs. The Cure)

I had been warned about Mike Jones by friends. Hearing him on this track helped me realize why. Not saying this is bad; quite the opposite, mates! Not much to say, I think you have to listen to it yourself to judge that.


Fox - Hypnotized Gypsy (Plies feat. Akon vs. Fleetwood Mac)

Hip-hop won't go with this. I skip this; keeping it for the sake of having all bonus tracks.


Loo & Placido - Timba Funk Land (Timbaland vs. Daft Punk)

I didn't hear him rap! And this song can sog off. (Not for that reason. Much more for the fact that the beat is distorted? Am I right? This is horrible anyway)


Party Ben - Every Car You Chase (Snow Patrol vs. The Police)

This is cool. Goes well with Snow Patrol. A song I'd listen to more often if the others weren't so great.


DJ Poly - Sweet Dreams Are Made of Seven Nation Army (Eurythmics vs. White Stripes)

At least they took the better beat. And I'm listening to this. Doodoodoodoodoo. Just an awesome feeling to hear this.


Victor Menegaux - Feel Good Roboto 2 (Gorillaz vs. Styx)

You'd expect this to sound: strange, bad, weird or awesome.
Let me tell you something.. you're right in 3 cases: strange, weird and awesome.
I felt like listening to Flash Dance or some 60s or 70s low-budget Flash Gordon show.. with the protagonists being black or look very much like any of the Gorillaz cartoon figures.
Adding to my amazement was the fact that these two songs work hand in hand and sound like god's finest mash-up.. if there wasn't that Wu-Tang vs. Mr. Oizo mash-up.


Wax Audio - Maiden Goes To Bollywood (Iron Maiden vs. Sunidhi Chauhan)

Not very exciting, but good for one or two laughs. I hate to see the Maiden being defiled with this.


DJ Zebra - Icky Thump Whole Lotta Funk (White Stripes vs. Led Zeppelin vs. DJ Zebra)

Funky rock piece. Nothing wrong with this. Bands stand for themselves and you get what you should expect of a mash-up from both and a DJ.


Conclusio:



This is definitely worth listening to. You have to like the various music genre, and even then, you'd have to listen to the songs a few times to either feel or not feel the vibe of it.


Always a first


After having read so many blogs for so long, it seems like it's about time to start my own. The only writing I ever do happens on IRC/MSN, so it's going to be hard to use proper grammer/spelling, but damned if I won't try! So look for more updates about what interests me and might interest you too in the near future!

So... first of all. It's been like 3 years since they least released an album, but finally it's here! I got my grubby (pretty little lightning) paws on the new Thee Silver Mt. Zion Memorial Orchestra and Tra-La-La Band release. This isn't really a review yet, seeing as I'm not even finished listening, but god DAMN is this intense. Whereas on past Silver Mt. Zion albums the singing was... uhm.. less than stellar, I actually am enjoying Efrim Menuck's voice. And this is straight up rocking shit... not your daddy's post-rock. I'll come back with a full review type dealy at some point.