When masturbation's lost its fun...

It is currently 6:56am, and I have just arrived home from work.

Working overnight is a fucking drag, I tell ya. I get home at 7am, usually fall asleep around 8:30am or so, and then end up sleeping until 8:30pm. Obviously this doesn't leave me much time for me time and since I'm sleeping so much, I actually feel WORSE than I do when I get my normal amount of sleep (about 5 hours a night). Weekends are even deadlier. Since this shitty sleep schedule is hard enough to keep up as it is, I can't disrupt it on the weekend so I end up staying up all night, cooped up inside, in my room, by myself and sleeping during the day. At least on the weekends I can get stuff done (although recently that time was spent leveling my new Death Knight to level 80). So yes, fucking drag.

This terrible job has got me thinking though (mostly because when I'm alone for 8 hours at a time, I don't have much else to think about). What am I going to do with my life? I had a conversation with a co-worker today, a young man of 17 years old. We were jabbering about what we were going to do after overnights were done, and that led to the general "what are you going to do with your life" topic. He asked me if I had a girlfriend, I said no. "Really?", he replies, "I hope to be married by the time I'm your age".

This kind of shocked me. When I told him I was of the opinion that that was a bit young to be married, he said that there wasn't anything else to experience in life, so why not settle down and have a family? This got me thinking about all the things that I want to accomplish, all the dreams and aspirations that I have, and why I was wasting my time working a shitty retail job instead of being bold and doing what I want to do. It flabbergasted me that this 17 year old kid could think of nothing in the world that he wanted to do, apparently has no plans for the future other than a family. Now, I could understand if getting married and settling down WAS his big dream in life, but if that is your last resort, the LAST THING you want to accomplish in life... how can you even call that a life?

Working in such a field as I do right now, I see people all the time who hate their jobs. It goes along with the retail business. I look at all these people who have been working here for 4, 5, 6 years and wonder what happened, what it was that led them on to this track, seemingly coasting through with no future plans. Sure, I've met some people who genuinely wanted to be in this business, but what about all the others? The managers who hate their job, but have no where else to go. The supervisors who are chomping at the bit for a promotion despite the fact that they loathe the company they work for. "Lifers", if you will. Some really do have no skill sets or anything to do anything else, and are content with where they are in life. What really breaks my heart are the people I can see have so much potential to do other things, but are stuck in the box for one reason or another. And sometimes I wonder... am I becoming a lifer?

I have to break out of this rut I've been carving for myself the past 2 years. Get out, get on with my life, learn, see, live. Travel the world, make music, movies, games. Go out and party with some friends, stay in and run heroics with others. God knows if I don't do it soon, the next thing I write will be an application for promotion. I'll be a lifer.

Awww!

This certainly basically made my day. Being cooped up at work the whole day, this definitely made me smile and all warm and fuzzy inside.

Whoa!

Wow, that awareness video totally blew my mind, Tim. I gotta say that I was utterly blind and did not see what was "wrong" with the video until my 3rd viewing, that's really sad, eh?

And considering how you guys love movies and reviewing stuff, here's a fun site that I stumbled upon last week. It's quite challenging and fun. It really pushes you to be witty and punny! And man, are some of those puns pain-inducing. Here's another site that's in the same thread of learning to be succinct.

*sigh* Writing on this blog is seriously making me depressed...in the sense that I should really be using this time to work on my new script before my class starts again April 9th. That's two weeks from now! I need 30 pages done and I only have 14! And on top of all that, I basically have nothing planned and just free-writing this whole thing atm. So, ladies and gentlemen, prepare for a train wreck. I should really work on some beams and beats, but ugh, so sick of the pre-writing work. It's so much damn work! I'm seriously lacking some motivation (duh!). I hope I find some soon around the corner.

God, braindamaged people

Yes. After watching the video Mike linked I once again was reminded how narrow-minded and myopic some people can be. It sickens me somehow, deep down, as a human and as a non-religious person. I'm sorry if I offended any religious people with the way of words, but I do believe I have some freedom of speech.

That reminded also of this. One of the most interesting movies I have seen - trying to stay very unbiased, at least in the first part of the movie. I, myself, have to say that I found the first part and the third part the most explaining, interesting and highly illuminative. The second part is more or less something for those who didn't come around the facts of 9/11, even though, I admit, there were some things I didn't know about as well.

On another note, I've done this in school before.

Note: view before reading on.






The biology teacher wanted to do this awareness test, yada yada yada. Technically in our version there were only girls playing basketball, but that's fine - more distraction, right?
Well, even before knowing of this, I thought of someone being really blind if he wouldn't see it. Of course, blablabla, Tim, if you know of it you will pay more attention - but still! It's so goddamn ridiculous that some people aren't capable of controlling their bodies that they're going to possess for one life-time. I'm sorry, that's my point of view, but it pisses me off.


What else do I have to rant and rave about? A bit of weirdness on googlemaps? A childhood-memory breaking youtube that made me actually smile for once? Fun with Food?

Actually, I'll just stop for now, figuring out how I can make use of passive-aggressive notes.

Cheers, boys and girls.

Content?

I'm mad shitty, thanks for the update Mike. Here's some stuff!

1. Started playing Crisis Core: FFVII last night (had to run out to EB Games at like 9pm at night to pick the motherfucker up), and so far it is an enjoyable game. It definitely helps that I was a huge FFVII fanboi when it first came out, but even someone just coming into the world of Gaia for the first time would find the fast-paced action RPG combat and solid characters cool. But what the hell do I know, I'm only about 3 hours in so I'll come back to this later.

2. Caught wind of a Portishead leak and got ALL UP ON THAT SHIT GOOD GOD DAMN *ahem*

Portishead - Third comes out in April sometime, but being the no-good pirate that I am, I procured a copy early and have devoured it mercilessly over the past few days. For fans of the Portishead of legend, the direction this album takes may come as a bit of a surprise. While Beth Gibbons' torch song voice once ruled supreme, it takes a bit of a back seat on this album. The songs are just as gloomy as always, but in a different way. More of an industrial feel, like these songs came out of a steel factory rather than the smoky jazz bar feel of Dummy.
This is not an album that you listen to on your iPod on a crowded subway or with one earbud hanging out, pretending to do work. Grab a glass of wine, light a candle and don't be afraid when that Bristol gloom washes over you. (full review to come? who knows)


3. To prepare for my role as a chronic masturbator, I have been doing a little method training. Keeping a steady schedule of 7 times a day has been infinitely exhausting, but I refuse to give up! Last night, I actually passed out while masturbating, but what did I do when I came to? God be damned if I didn't finish up! It's a bit unsatisfying when you've emptied yourself so many times that all you ejaculate is air, but this is all for the good of the project. At least that's what I keep telling myself.

4. I started work on a little story/screenplay, a horror/dark comedy in the vein of many of my favorite Japanese horror movies (Ichi the Killer, Battle Royale), but ended up with a whole different monster. We'll see how it pans out, maybe I'll post a sample later.



THIS ENTRY IS FILLED WITH EMPTY PROMISES,
Mitchell

Post something!

Jeez, am I the only one who has nothing to say but posts anyway!? Useless! *shakes head*

I certainly have something to say most of the time, but I guess I'm just all blogged out, as I just wrote endlessly on my own blog! Post something!

Dumbasses on Display

This video truly makes me sad...is it not enough that they are stupid, but have to spread it to kids!? *sigh*

Ooooooh!

*sound of gun cocking* Just so everyone knows, I'm here voluntarily...*ahem*.

And since I'm here, I will have to agree with Mitch that he's doing a TERRIBLE, just HORRID job of keeping this blog alive. Since so many have died for it, you would think he would care more, guess not!

Anyhoo, nothing really interesting going on except I'm totally into watching "Gossip Girl"...and yes, laugh all you want! It's a fun show! I don't care! Yes, it's about rich kids and there's this one character that's a total slime ball, but it's entertaining enough. And besides, having Kristen Bell narrate the whole thing makes it that much better. R.I.P. Veronica Mars! *sigh* She seems like she's having more fun narrating this show than being on "Heroes" where she looks like she's totally bored. It's amazing how "Heroes", from week-to-week, can turn from brilliant to absolute crap. Boggles the mind.

The reality show "So You Think You Can Dance? Australia" is also a hoot if one is ever bored of re-runs until late April where American TV shows will come back with new eps! And the fucking strike has to happen on the year where LOST is basically the best season/show of anything this year. Having 8 eps in the can just to make us 5 weeks for the next 5-6 new eps is too long! Ugh, damn strike! Anyhoo, hope everyone had a great eventful Easter holiday weekend! Toodles.

Mitch is a..

Dreck--- oh wait, wrong language. Well, yes, emotional, gaming and job problems have been a bit more important than updating this here, but yes, Mitch has his boot up my ass so I'm here and totally happy (except not).
But I'm a machine, I should review a few of the DVDs I've seen, the games I played, the books I've read, the little of new music I've heard.
For example:
1. Dragonshard (Which my dad is playing more often than I am)
2. The new Del album (I shall be throwing myriads of temper tantrums if I have to listen to this again)
3. Password: Swordfish (Halfway good, halfway off the serious road and into the lane of Travolta being too comic for being a bad guy)
4. Ocean's Eleven (I've never even seen this movie and I liked it)

Yes. I have no idea. Sup peeps? Happy Easter and lots of EGGS.

Keeping Up Appearances

It's true, millions did die to make this blog... and I'm not doing a very good job of justifying their deaths (although Mike and Tim aren't either)! Luckily, no one reads this piece of shit anyways, so no harm done. I'll update soon about My Name Is Jonas, the short film starring myself and the usual Sticks + Stones chaps.

JUST FUCKING DO IT

I saw this post on the SA forums, and felt it was pretty good advice for myself and a bunch of people I know, so here it is before the post gets lost in the mire that is Something Awful.



So here's my advice to you kids loving around at home

Get up, go start a band and book gigs. Become the most overblown confident liar when it comes to pimping your band. Stop being the emo-self-doubter misunderstood artist and just loving do it. Become the rock star. It's you baby, you can do it.

I wish I could go back in time and kick my own rear end at 18 and make me do something instead of waiting another 15 years, fearful of clubs telling me no, or nobody liking my incredible talent, or whatever the hell it was that held me back.

I wish I was as cocky and full of poo poo back then as I am today, instead of self-doubting and chickenshit. I wish I knew the things I know now - that it's not about talent or practice or even ability when it comes to getting onstage and playing your instrument. And nobody - NOBODY checks your presskit facts. So lie. Tell them you opened for some B-level currently touring band that sounds like your band. Tell them you just finished a tri-state tour of small clubs. Nobody - NOBODY cares enough to check your facts. All they want to know is "who do they sound like and do they have any experience and will they draw a crowd". Lie. Lie your rear end off but be sure to bring out a crowd when you DO get your show. Or else they won't call you back.

It's all about confidence. I've seen lovely mediocre forgettable StevieRay Wannabees pull in a huge crowd, playing His licks, note for note but without any feeling, all because they had balls the size of kentucky. They had that kind of Elvis "I'm letting you in on my secret - this is all just for fun, there ain't no talent anywhere onstage" thing that goes a million miles beyond the snoozefest Eric Johnson "skill over all else" approach.

So get up there. Start your own band or go join one. Be a dick. Laugh at yourself. Play the wrong notes and scream out "I PLAY JAZZ BITCHES". The only person seriously judging you is yourself. If you get up there and have fun, everybody else is going to remember that, over your lovely redundant solos and flubbed chords.

But don't wait, because before you know it, something will get in your way and you'll have to stop, whether you want to or not. And then you'll be saying "I sure wish I'd listened to that brilliant motherfucker mag7 because not only is he talented and awesome, he's also my daddy's bitch and I have to show respeck."

edit:
In my bitching and moaning, the least I can do is give you a link to help you market your band better.

This guy is The poo poo
http://www.bob-baker.com/buzz/music-video.html

EFUH#ETHHEGU

Fuck Green Grass and High Tides. Seriously. FUCK IT.

THIRD

It's official! Portishead's third album has a release date and a title! Called "Third", it comes out on April 14th. Hopefully this means a tour is coming up soon too. They played their first show in a long time a month or so at All Tomorrow's Parties and debuted a few new songs. Hooray for youtube!

The Mystic
Wicca
Peaches

Robin Sparkles!

Since our blog is so gloom and doom, apparently, I thought I would post this to cheer everyone up!

Awesome Portal swag

Whilst perusing the interwebs, I found a link to this ebay auction for a Portal Xbox 360 faceplate. It's a pretty cool looking piece of Portal fangoodness, but man! The bids are already up to £200, which is HELLA money for a piece of painted plastic. As much as I love Portal, that's just crazy. I'll stick with my Portal t-shirt, and hope that someday my Aperture science mugs will appear at my doorstep.

Popping a Cherry...Pie in my mouth!

If Mitchell's gonna use this blog to review music, I'm gonna use it to review TV shows, movies, and what-have-you! This is gonna be so fun! I feel officially initiated! You can take that any way you want. Now that I have two blogs, I feel like I can have my pie and eat it too. It's gonna be LEGEN-wait for it-DARY!

My internet was down and I had nothing to do

After having read so many blogs for so long, it seems like it's about time to start my --- hold up, wait a minute. Okay, I lied. Just minutes after Mitch had shown me this I figured 'why not?' and ventured the guess "ZOMG LET ME PLAY TOO".

I've never blogged, I'm bad at diaries and I usually suck at writing in the English language. (Notice how we both apologize for future mistakes, alas we both are not going to make any due to this and gain the status of WHINY NOOBS. Hope you did.)

Since we're doing this for you and no longer for ourselves, I've decided to just tag along and do some community work for y'all: badly reviewing things I have listened to lately!



Best of Bootie 2007

Genre: Bastard Pop/Mash-up

Release: 2008? I dunno about this.

Link

Tracklist & Comment:


1. Earworm - Bootie Intro

Pretty much the best piece of work on the whole album. Next to the bonus tracks and about 3 other tracks this shows off brilliant mixing, cutting and editing. I can't say that I know most of the songs that were featured but it sounded damn straight amazing.


2. Party Ben - Galvanize The Empire (Chemical Brothers vs. John Williams)

Okay. Before I say anything: using the Empire theme of Star Wars has been often ruined.
Now going on with the review: I wonder how awesome these people must feel when using the triumphantly sounding orchestra of John Williams and slap some meaningless Chemical Brothers into it. It isn't called Bastard Pop for nothing! Anyway, it could have been better if it wasn't sounding so damn monotonous over the whole 3:32 minutes. Good work, but nothing exciting here.


3. A plus D - Pour Some Hot Sugar (Mims vs. Def Leppard)

Again, a short notice before I continue: I don't know Mims, and I will probably say that more often during this review.. thingie. I'm solely judging these things on how they sound, so if a song or an artist had sounded like crap before, they might get a second chance!
Mims' performance is discussable, Def Leppard's classic is perfectly sounding into his repeated "This is why I'm hot!", even if it sounds damn retarded. Again, discussable performance, but skill and talent probably, too.


4. Party Ben - Tender Umbrella (Rihanna vs. General Public)

I heard this on the radio and I feel damn proud to say I at least heard the name Rihanna before. General Public not. I'm not a friend of the Umbrella song, nor of this mash-up. I could suppose that this is something you listen to in a club or something, but I also think it's the kind of song everyone exploits to dash to the bar or to the toilet. She sings, some of her beats, and probably something of General Public to make it sound half as bad as it is.


5. Go Home Productions - Passenger Fever (Peggy Lee vs. Iggy Pop)

Never heard of Peggy Lee (I feel horrible for being a so-called audiophile and not knowing all these people that seem to become fashionable now), but I can assure you: She has a very beautiful voice. And, Iggy Pop. I knew the song, I didn't know what to expect, and what I got was a very beautiful song that possibly could make it into the charts if it wasn't Bastard Pop.

She sings, and it's all you want to hear.


6. DJ Moule - Sympathy For Teen Spirit (Rolling Stones vs. Queen vs. Nirvana)

One would think with bands like these you couldn't go wrong. I thought so, too. And, many might get angry at what I'm going to say, so I suppose you should just stop reading now and scroll down to the next song.
I dislike Nirvana. Not for their music, but for Cobain. His voice ruined what I imagine to be quite an interesting mix for oldies and people who enjoy good rock music.
At least the constant repeating of a 'Another One Bites The Dust' beat and the few lines "Pleased to meet you, (...), Hope you guessed my name" makes it enjoyable.


7. Copycat - Fade To Pretty Vacant (Visage vs. Sex Pistols vs. The Charlatans vs. Fun Lovin' Criminals vs. Nouvelle Vague)

I feel bad again. I don't know The Charlatans, and I couldn't make out what part in the song they had.
Moving on to the good parts: Sex Pistols riffs can be heard, and this is definitely a pleasing thing to hear. Visage's lyrics and the contribution of 'I'm sure this was the FLC and NV part' made it a pleasant song after all.


8. Matt Hite - Me & Yoo & Yazoo (Cassie vs. Yazoo)

Eugh! This is some regular pop voice. And some regular, not original beat. I can't even listen to it anymore.


9. Earworm - Funky Goes To Hollywood (Wild Cherry vs. Frankie Goes To Hollywood)

And this is why I usually skip to this song. Imagine this: Constant Frankie beat, joined in by the funk that is Wild Cherry's ... funk! The lyrics move on to the part '..and somebody shouted' RELAX! Don't do it! ~
I don't know. This made me smile and giggle. And I don't giggle. I'm a manly man, not a girly man. I SWEAR.



10. A plus D - Standing In The Way Of Connection (The Gossip vs. Elastica)

The music just doesn't fit. Gossip's frontwoman's voice is too good for this.


11. The Illuminoids with Donita Sparks - Pretend We're Alala (L7 vs. CSS)

Repetitive, but funny nonetheless. Allah Allah Allah. I wished they'd sing that.


12. DJ Paul V. - Phantom On The Bottom (The Lady Tigra vs. Justice)

Incredible beat and bass. I didn't know Lady Tigra 'til I heard this, and I just started to get into her music. It's weird, it's fresh and new. I also like her voice, important, y'know?


13. Earworm - Say It Right Away (Nelly Furtado vs. The Egg vs. Madonna)

I don't know the egg, but I blame it for ruining this song and two beautiful voices these two women have.


14. team9 - Britney - Dead Or Alive? (Britney Spears vs. Dead Or Alive vs. Daft Punk)

This is another interesting and well-edited mix. Not fond of the music, but that is probably cause Britney sings.


15. King Of Pants - Detox (Amy Winehouse vs. Britney Spears)

Didn't I just talk bad about her? Oh man, I'm so glad Amy Winehouse sings, and damn, thanks to this album I discovered another vibrant and strong female voice. The music? Bleh, I could live without it.


16. DJ Paul V. - Tequila Lip Gloss (Lil Mama vs. The Champs)

Strange. Hectic. Tequila!


17. Lobsterdust - Walkin' Out Yo Girlfriend (Unk vs. Avril Lavigne vs. Toni Basil)

I'm glad these other people are allowed to sing and steal Avril's on air time. Even if it sounds like generic MTV hip-hop. It has something, I'm sure of it, but I'm glad not being forced to listen to it. The editing? Discussable, but clean.


18. A plus D - Don't Stop Believin' In Planet Rock (Journey vs. Afrika Bambaataa)

"Wait, wasn't that completely destroyed in Family Guy?"
And yes, you're damn right. This futuristic bass crossfire at the beginning was awesome and I hoped for a more rapid, rambunctious way of dealing with this song. Instead, I got Journey's song with a beat and some stuff. AWKWARD.


19. DJ Topcat - More Than On Point (House of Pain vs. Boston)

This makes me giggle, alas cause of the use of hip-hop and rock that SURELY don't work well together.


20. Divide & Kreate - Illiterate City (Jackson 5 vs. Guns N' Roses)

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.


21. DJ Magnet - Love Comes Running Up That Hill Gently (Placebo vs. Pet Shop Boys vs. Kate Bush)

And another song that is saved by a good voice, ruined by weird mixing and in the end: skipped.




BONUS TRACKS:


A plus D - Celeshake (Ying Yang Twins feat. Pitbull vs. Kool & the Gang)

Back in the days, when I still watched TV regularly, and this was a long long time ago, I even seen Ying Yang Twins. I didn't expect.. much. But what A plus D mixed together is divine. I am not able to find another word more fitting for this. Celebration can be heard, the hilarious rapping of the Ying Yang Twins as well (Not saying that it is bad, but it somehow makes this song funny).


dj BC - 2 Live Supertramp Disco (2 Live Crew vs. Supertramp vs. Marvin Gaye)

So yeah. I've seen Supertramp live, I've known 2 Live Crew and Marvin Gaye for ages. The use of Goodbye Stranger as melodic background was sheer genius. And they want a PAAARTAYYY!


ComaR - Mr. Jones In A Forest (Mike Jones vs. The Cure)

I had been warned about Mike Jones by friends. Hearing him on this track helped me realize why. Not saying this is bad; quite the opposite, mates! Not much to say, I think you have to listen to it yourself to judge that.


Fox - Hypnotized Gypsy (Plies feat. Akon vs. Fleetwood Mac)

Hip-hop won't go with this. I skip this; keeping it for the sake of having all bonus tracks.


Loo & Placido - Timba Funk Land (Timbaland vs. Daft Punk)

I didn't hear him rap! And this song can sog off. (Not for that reason. Much more for the fact that the beat is distorted? Am I right? This is horrible anyway)


Party Ben - Every Car You Chase (Snow Patrol vs. The Police)

This is cool. Goes well with Snow Patrol. A song I'd listen to more often if the others weren't so great.


DJ Poly - Sweet Dreams Are Made of Seven Nation Army (Eurythmics vs. White Stripes)

At least they took the better beat. And I'm listening to this. Doodoodoodoodoo. Just an awesome feeling to hear this.


Victor Menegaux - Feel Good Roboto 2 (Gorillaz vs. Styx)

You'd expect this to sound: strange, bad, weird or awesome.
Let me tell you something.. you're right in 3 cases: strange, weird and awesome.
I felt like listening to Flash Dance or some 60s or 70s low-budget Flash Gordon show.. with the protagonists being black or look very much like any of the Gorillaz cartoon figures.
Adding to my amazement was the fact that these two songs work hand in hand and sound like god's finest mash-up.. if there wasn't that Wu-Tang vs. Mr. Oizo mash-up.


Wax Audio - Maiden Goes To Bollywood (Iron Maiden vs. Sunidhi Chauhan)

Not very exciting, but good for one or two laughs. I hate to see the Maiden being defiled with this.


DJ Zebra - Icky Thump Whole Lotta Funk (White Stripes vs. Led Zeppelin vs. DJ Zebra)

Funky rock piece. Nothing wrong with this. Bands stand for themselves and you get what you should expect of a mash-up from both and a DJ.


Conclusio:


This is definitely worth listening to. You have to like the various music genre, and even then, you'd have to listen to the songs a few times to either feel or not feel the vibe of it.

Always a first

After having read so many blogs for so long, it seems like it's about time to start my own. The only writing I ever do happens on IRC/MSN, so it's going to be hard to use proper grammer/spelling, but damned if I won't try! So look for more updates about what interests me and might interest you too in the near future!

So... first of all. It's been like 3 years since they least released an album, but finally it's here! I got my grubby (pretty little lightning) paws on the new Thee Silver Mt. Zion Memorial Orchestra and Tra-La-La Band release. This isn't really a review yet, seeing as I'm not even finished listening, but god DAMN is this intense. Whereas on past Silver Mt. Zion albums the singing was... uhm.. less than stellar, I actually am enjoying Efrim Menuck's voice. And this is straight up rocking shit... not your daddy's post-rock. I'll come back with a full review type dealy at some point.